I am so enough now ........ on Monday I say to Derek I am so wish to give myself a C-section to get ADEN out from me tummy ......... GOSH ! that is real BAD .
every night after 9pm tummy so blow up like a balloon just feel like t* Die better then a live *
I never feel this way with my 3 monkey or may be I forgot already so many years or I am so busy with looking after the kids and home and cook and ect ..... I don't even feel the pain ........
Now ...... I have nothing to do at home only rest ...... I feel so miserable or becos ....... old age preg?????
I can't complain lot ...... I should be glad that I am so lucky now a day , kids will help me and Derek will help ,I think about SASHA and my SIS JANICE in Malaysia, got to work up to give birth, same time daily need to look after young kids plus work the whole day, from 9am to 6pm back home , keep house clear and cook and look after ERVIN JAYDEN , if kids sick there got to wake up the whole night .
sometime I do wish our Chinese MEN..... Hubby can be a bit helpful it does help a lot .
in the west.....HUBBY will help a lot to the wive , not only earn the money and that it , cos I think as a hubby and wive we must understand more ABOUT EACH OTHER NEED .
Not that I am not worry ..... with this Baby ..... I am dam worry in big time.
worry I can't cope it, once he get out .... WHY ????
cost I feel like I dig myself a great big grave after so many years freedom and look wat I have done to myself .
also I feel so uncomfortable when I go out most of the ppl alway s ask me the same question .....
*Oh ...... is this plan ???
wat does this mean ?? wat does this to do with you plan or not ???
why there got to ask me this becos I am a old women over 43 years ..... and not suppose to have another Baby ???
I didn't plan to have this Baby , I have lost one 5 years ago and we though all the problem we had we are not going to have another baby , Derek and steph even wanted to adopt a baby from china,I say NO to them cost I don't want to look after another baby .
when this baby come along by super surprise I tell myself may be is god will... I should give Derek another Girl he so wish for ....... but ..... god will also not giving him a Girl but another BOY holy.
anyway ....... wat had come had come I just got to face it I am sooooo wish .. ppl please don't ask me this again and again are you plan ............
just please mind your very own business ......... may be the next time when ppl ask me I will jsut say ...... NO is god gift !
sorry I BLA BLA BLA TODAY ...... JUST SO FED UP WITH IT NOW .
CAN'T WAIT ......... UNTIL THE 2 SEPT 2008 BABY GET OUT .