Thursday, June 24, 2010

More hour in a day that is wat I calling for

It been a very long long time since I log in here to blog
I have been so busy with work ..looking after Aden ...
also busy helping my friend to visit DR ,help another friend buying house , arranger meeting with the bank for them which I get no commission :P
Run around for the pass 3 mouths like a headless chick, very tire .....

Also my Brother in law wedding in Poland ,we all must attend spend lot of £££ for that weekend

wonder is that call family holiday to us ????
well :( I do enjoy very much at the wedding after all BIL had pay lot of money for his wedding .

can't really say is a holiday for us , is not a place we dream to go for our holiday with kids .

Busy mouths start soon for us again
Chinese kids is coming for their summer camp holiday , will be having 3 again for the whole mouths of July and Aug ,
hope can earn some extra to pay off the repaid of our home , after living here for nearly 14 years everything is fulling apart .

can't really complain about this .. becos is life for everyone too :)
Hubby had been work very hard to work and do ll the repaid re deco the whole house .

But I still not sure about my life ................
sometime looking at all my friend enjoy their life with kids grown up and me still with a young baby at the age of 46 gosh ...Wat am I doing ?
lot of question around me , I really Hate my life now , cos is not a life for me anymore
can't do anything much other then work , home , cook, sleep 4 hours a day and back to work , all money goes to kids.... bus fare ....... food ect.......there eat more and more .......

when I am going to have a life ?
which I can do wat I want !
spend wat I need !travel around when I want ......god know ..........................

Advise ....... if you ae the age of over 40 already had kids please don't go and make another baby
is really stupid .......

Friday, March 19, 2010

up date for my friend in Japan

well I receive a email from a very dear friend Yuki from JAPAN
she wrote ...
I haven't up date my blog and the last blog she read was
I am on my moody mood I guess she kind of worry

well ! My dear Yuki, we all fine and well
we have been very busy ...
as for me I am busy on my Face book with the farmville
also busy with few out about cooking for party and cooking for the warehouse promotion
as for Hubby
he is busy re make the shower en suit and bath room also my bed room too
the next time you back for a visit you will be surprise how much it had charge :P

as for the little ADEN you can see the above Picture he had grown
and the below picture
is the new shower room :P

Aden is getting better to eat on his own

Sunday, January 17, 2010

My dear Nephew had born Today .......

Wat a lovely year to start
my lovely Nephew ( son of JON and Wen )
Born today at 2am
Mummy and daddy haven't choice the Name yet

He is just so prefect .
I am so Proud of my sis Wen and My bro in law JON there both done a very good job
had 2 beautiful kids

we congratulation to the
Proud parent

may this little boy bring your all
lot of joy and happiness

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

2010 .........ALL I WANT IS PEACE

Today, I have finally found peace, my inner peace.
Sad but true to say, for the past year, I am so sick, so tired, with myself, surroundings, sick with everything, sometimes I even hate myself so much, but I don't know why.
I am so in need to vent, to leash out all the negativite feelings that I have choked up,
2009 have passed and I haven't come to this blog to up date since oct 09, after my operation and rest for 2 months return to work , I am so busy with work , with Aden , house work and farming in face book * shame on me * I know . I am SO tire just no time for blogging any more .
New year 2010 had arrive .... I need to change myself for the better, for myself and my loved one, all I want is Peace and Harmony ... This is my New years Resolution for 2010 . I want to be Happy, I want to be Me!
I must be strong and not let ppl push me around. I don't like the feeling of being taken for granted, why? Because I am a human and I have feelings too, you know! well at work I will say *Yes * to everything just to keep the peace, ppl like to take it for a ride, with friend, if they need me, they will call me to babysit or baking or cooking for them or feed the cat when there go away for holiday, or just anything that needed to be help with, after that I will not see them or hear from them for weeks until there need my help again. Yes, I am hurt, very hurt and heartbroken, am I not that worthy? until people cannot just call to say hi when they don't need help? wat an Idiot I am .
2010 I wouldn't wantto be in this way anymore, I don't like it I will say a ....Big NO .....

One thing for sure ...... NO one will give a shit to my family, my family comes first, my loving hubby and 4 kids come first, they are my life. .... This year, all my energy will be focus on them. If they are happy I am happy, all 100% of me, my energy and my time will be for them, they desrved sorry babes out there, no time for you all...especially those who keep on asking for help...again, I am only a human, and only one of me
Before this, I always get upset, heartbroken, dissappinted but I always keep it to myself. Now thinking back, why am I so stupid to suffer myself? When I am unhappy, makes my family unhappy too. Now, why I Bother and care wat ppl think of me anymore, the end of the day I don't ask them for help , they need me more than I need them?? Yes, words hurt especially untrue things said about me do hurt, so now I must also be strong for myself and ignore those hurtful words. I am a better person than that.
H*ll with people, H*ll with bullshits and talks and lectures that makes no sense. No point to be good all the time at the end of the day I am still the Black sheep, a black sheep who have so much more feelings than anyone. Whatever, I try to do or help still not good enough for everybody, so from now I just think of my very own family my 4 kids and my hubby ..... nobody else .
I know with this post, a lot of ppl will think that I am very selfish, but I have be a non selfish person for years, whenever anyone asked for help, I will never think twice and help them the best that I can. But when I am in trouble or ill or just need help, ppl just don't want to know and no one even bother just to ask * HOW ARE YOU ?
I am not even wanting to borrow money from anyone :P
All I wish sometimes is just a little care and concern from people. I need some loving too , you know afterall, I am just a human. Is that too much from me? huh?
Also I will never ask anyone for moneylar! I know
if I do ........ ahhahaha ....... every one will run without shoe will run with clogs :P
This is the NEW ..... PEARLY WITHOUT LOVE ...You can LOVE IT or HATE it Just like MARMITE

means no drama please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not for me to say what is right and what is wrong.
I can only live my life and live by my decisions; I can not worry about some else's decisions they've made in their lives.