MY life NOW ......

Try and try  hope and hope ......

now is time to tell myself is no use to work on my own cos 

it wouldn't work . when only one side trying hard.

1. The other party hate it so much ,time to let it go. 
2. no point to focus a relationship is not going to work!
3.  cos I don't know how I can make it work 
4. no meter how much I try it only back fire to me 
5. sad thing is I should know for long time it not going to work only I not wanted to face the true 
6. Now at this min my heart is so heavy  is like a person  who facing a die sentential  waiting for a trial to  be hang  !
7. you know you going to die but you don't know how to take it in , 
8. I rather to die and not have to face it all , but i can't do it or should say I don't dare or worry to leave my baby on it own .
9. As a wive, a mother of four , I love my family so much more then my life 

I will give my life to my hubby and any of my kids ,but I am not sure anyone of my family 

1. understand that is me , there all think I am so selfish to myself , which it never happen in me ,
2. I always put my hubby and my kids come first me the last , how can I make them see ????
3. that is how much I love them ?
4. I will still pray to god ,hope one day , god will send me an  Angel  help me to cross over ,
5. thing will  come toward me very  very soon !
6.  may god give me stranger and power to face it  whatever
7.  to come to me 
8. Let me be strong  and not weak !

I CAN DO IT !

I believe in you dear Buddha 

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  I wish  ,,, I wish I can travel in time , I  will travel back to undo all the mistake I make , 

when I have  around me,I don't see and appreciated when it gone ,I will miss him and so sad he had gone ...........

God also say forgive and forget|!  for  those who believe in god, it make sense.

but  for those who don't believe in god , that is a big pile of shit that no forgive and forget , it just turn into hate in everything . 

even talk to you or see your face it  feel sick , 

why a good old marriage got to turn into so sad ........

all thank to   you ass-hole  who so greedy and have a bad heart 

 I wish I wish one day the bad  thing will return to you , 

YOU ARE A FUCKING EVIL ASSHOLE I  pray to god and hope you and your family  will  get all the bad thing  goes to you and your bitch wife .......

 god will come after you ..... and you and you ........ all of you ........... 

 

I hate you all who hurt my family

It had been a long time I log into my blog , lot of thing happen up and down in my home , nearly pass 3 years bad thing still around me never goes away , I wonder when it going to go away .
Home  is no longer a home , sometime I ask myself where is my home ?? home is where my hubby and my kids , but after everything happen there not a home for me or for my kids , hate around the home angry around the home , no matter how much I try and put up all the shit , is still no peace , I wonder  when  I keep my word to god  to be good in life and help ppl and return is get hurt by everyone inclusive my very own family member is there call fair .
the only think I am trying to do is pray and hope one day it will be goes pass and I can pick up my life again .
sad to say ppl are selfish,  there can advised all kind but in real life no one can really understand wat is really ppl goes through and get hurt ,
the only personal can feel is the one who getting   pain , so much pain I face daily , I just got to keep telling myself is ok just be strong and hang on there becos I love him and my very own kids , one day it will be OK , instant of give up HOPE .
one thing piss me off the most is those ppl who so call * My family * who keep say to me , there care when thing get bad ,there so two face .
who can I trust ?
after all the bad thing happen to me I think I trust NO ONE .... people are so evil ,  there only nice when there want something from you , if there get wat there want there give you  2 finger ,well give no give there still give two finger to you so ...........
well ! that you can see wat the fuck I care any more , my mum always say to me, we must be nice to ppl , I think my mum is living in the roses life all the time . Ppl are evil, there  no nice ppl around especially those so call family , there are the worst one in life , there lie and make you do all kind of bad thing to get wat there want .
The only thing I love is my own family my kids and my hubby now all goes......... all becos  one of my side of family member make me to do something I really don't want to do,  when there goes down hell I give him a hand to bring him up , now My home goes down hill , everyone only turn around and say to me , well ..... wat can I say about there  is your life your choice , so is your problem not ours .
I hate them so much I so  wish  there all drop die but I  Know for sure ....  to those evil one * wat come around goes around , god got eyes to see ... now I suffer but one day is your time to get back wat YOU dick fucking shit . do to me and and my family  it will be double goes back to you and your family too .

All of you out there beware............

 I pray  to god ...... YOU all will get it back ....

Pan grill beef with Yorkshire pudding and roast potato and steam veg .....

 I just have a  ERCP and Dr advise 

got to have 

a Fat & Meat free Diet 

so most f the day I just have boil veg with rice or potato 

or

steam Tofu  with veg 

but My boys and hubby can't  live without Meat 

Here is a easy and fast way to get a meal 

ready in less then a  hour

ready make Yorkshire's pudding 

potato first boil it  for 15 min  

then drain all the water out and add Olive oil in the pot

shake around in the pot then add into a over bake plate 

and bake in the oven for 45 min 

mean time you just put your feet up and relax 

then when the potato nearly ready 

steam the veg and then same time 

pan fry your beef ready to server 

WOOOLA 

FAST AND EASY 

ENJOY IT BOYS 

XXXXX

Happy New Year 2012